


it takes two [confrontation]

by baekking



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: ChanBaek - Freeform, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Minor Character Death, it takes two
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:36:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24605554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekking/pseuds/baekking
Summary: hello mga ka-bub and philip neyshun! char.here's the long awaited reason ng bub natin.please be kind to me. this is unedited and wala pang proof read (hindi ko pa kaya ireread to)i hope this story finds you well.salamat sa mga naghihintay.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 4
Kudos: 134





	it takes two [confrontation]

**Author's Note:**

> hello mga ka-bub and philip neyshun! char.   
> here's the long awaited reason ng bub natin.  
> please be kind to me. this is unedited and wala pang proof read (hindi ko pa kaya ireread to)  
> i hope this story finds you well.  
> salamat sa mga naghihintay.

Dumating sina Baekhyun at Chanyeol, 7:30 PM. Maingay na sa private resort na nirentahan ni Sehun, but hindi /party/ ingay, mostly kwentuhan at tawanan ang maririnig. By the looks of it, nasa 20 lang sila. Kumpleto silang barkada with Lucas, tapos ilang pinsan at childhood friends ni Sehun. 

Nakita ni Baekhyun si Jongdae at Junmyeon na naglalaro ng cards by the pool with some of Sehun’s cousins, nagbibilliards naman si Sehun, Kai, at Lucas. Nang nakita siya ni Jongdae, agad itong sumigaw, “Oh ayan na ang most awaited guests!”

Naglakad si Baekhyun at nakasunod naman si Philip na bitbit ang mga gamit nila. Dala dala ni Baekhyun ang paperbag ng mga pahabol na pabili ni Sehun.

Lumapit agad si Sehun sa kanila at yumakap, “Tangina ang tagal niyo!” 

Tumawa naman si Baekhyun na ipit from Sehun and Chanyeol, “Aray, ito na nga po oh!”

Turns out, hinintay pala talaga nila ang dalawa before /officialy/ starting. 

Umupo si Baekhyun sa bench katabi ni Dae at bumulong, “Gags, bakit inintay niyo pa kami?”

Jongdae just shrugged and smiled, “Hayaan mo na, sentimental e,” uminom ito from the cup he’s holding, hindi alam ni Baekhyun if alak o ano, “ngayon na lang daw ulit magbibirthday na buo tayo, pagbigyan na.”

Baekhyun felt a weight on his heart, a pleasurable kind of pain. Narealize niya na this is the first official hangout na magkakasama. It’s been two years, mag-three sa April na they’ve been together. Baekhyun felt sorry for their friends, pati sila, nadamay sa /away/ nila ni Philip. Nawala siya sa pag-iisip when he felt some pinching his cheeks— si Lucas.

“Aray naman Wong Yukhei,” tampal nito sa kamay ng binata, “ang mature ha!”

Ngumisi naman si Yukhei which made Baekhyun’s heart happy. Hindi dahil sa kilig ha, well siguro oo, but not because of Yukhei pero dahil sa fact na until now, they’re very good friends. Si Yukhei siguro ang isa sa mga unexpected na tao sa buhay ni Baekhyun, and he’s very thankful for him. Baekhyun loved his friends, each one of them. 

Siguro kung tatanungin siya kung sino ang ‘best’ friend niya, wala siyang maisasagot. Para kasing every friend he has, best para sakanya. Iba’t ibang bond ang naform between them. Iba si Jongdae, iba si Sehun. Iba rin si Junmyeon. May mga bagay na kaya niyang sabihin kay Jongin lang. And with Lucas, there are things exclusively special for them. 

“Seryoso natin ah,” Lucas kid, “musta road trip?”

Baekhyun smiled at him, “Okay naman, I mean we talked. A lot.”

Lucas pat his head, “That’s good,” he says nodding, “can we talk later?”

“Oo naman.”

*

After minutes of talking, the group gathered into a half circle near sa dining table. They were singing a happy birthday song to Sehun, na pang-apat na ulit na ata. 

He blowed the candle on top of the cake na pinacustomize pa ni Jongdae (no, hindi siya ang nagbake!) na super nagustuhan ni Sehun. 

That was the cue, the party has /officially/ started. Nakarinig si Baekhyun ng tunog ng tubig, and he saw Sehun’s cousins swimming. Mas nabigla sya when Jongin handed a phone, awfully familiar. 

He heard a very loud splash and loud groan, he looked sa pool side at nakitang basang basa na si Lucas, nakacasual outfit pa, with Sehun laughing frantically sa side. Tiningnan niya ulit ang phone na hawak to recognize na it is indeed Yukhei’s. 

Natawa si Baekhyun sa nakita and he nodded his head, lumapit sa pool area. “Hello sa basang sisiw,” asar niya kay Yukhei na tinawanan naman nina Sehun.

Baekhyun went to where his friends are, sa isang table kunh saan nakalatag ang food at drinks. Hindi muna siya kakain dahil busog pa sya from their meal ni Chanyeol. Speaking of the man, Chanyeol was sitting beside Jongin, na mukhang seryoso ang pinag-uusapan. Nakakunot ang mga noo at malapit sa isa’t isa. 

Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol. His ex _really_ looks good. He noticed how big he grew. Hindi na itatago ni Baekhyun na Chanyeol really got toned. When they were together, the boy naman was conscious na of his physique. Pero fuck, Chanyeol looked hot right now. Wearing a plain tank top and shorts (hindi niya alam kelan ito nagpalit), his ex’s muscles were really showing. Lalo na ngayon na seryoso ito sa usapan, Baekhyun is so satisfied with what he sees. 

Naputol ang pagmuni muni niya when something cold touched his cheek, “Oh, inom muna. Baka matunaw,” Junmyeon told him. Nakita niya ring umaahon si Lucas, lumalapit sakanya. But still, his eyes are fixed on Chanyeol. 

Lucas waved his hand sa mukha ni Baekhyun, “Lapitan mo na kasi,” he says. 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, “Lumayo ka nga sakin, magtuyo ka muna!” 

“ _Wet_ look ‘to Baek, ano ba?”

“Lucas, ang baboy,” Junmyeon says laughing, “magtuyo ka muna tapos kumain. Saka mo na bawian si Sehun.”

But then nakarinig sila ng familiar na boses and saw Chanyeol holding Sehun’s arms, tapos si Jongin sa paa. They were swaying Sehun, at pagbilang ni Chanyeol ng tatlo, hinagis nila si Sehun sa pool. Everyone laughed pero sobrang lakas lalo ng tawa nina Chanyeol. 

Nawala agad ang mga kaibigan niya sa tabi para picturan si Sehun na nakahoodie, basang basa.

Baekhyun was busy lauging to notice na Chanyeol was nearing him. “Saya natin ah”

Baekhyun eyed him and reached for a bottle of beer, “Hmm, ikaw rin naman,” he says at inabot kay Chanyeol. 

“Damn right I am,” Chanyeol drank from his bottle, “I’m glad I have you guys now.”

*

Deep into the night, the group found themselves playing card games and billiards. Chanyeol, Sehun, and Jongin were playing billiards kasama ng ibang pinsan ni Sehun. He saw Lucas talking to two of Sehun’s cousins and friends. He heard na First Year College Engineering ang isa sa mga kausap nito. Rinig niya rin ang kung anu-anong science stuff na topic, _Nerd_ sa isip ni Baekhyun.

Yes they were divided into groups, pero hindi naging awkward. Good call talaga na naging private party ang birthday ni Sehun. If natuloy yung previous plan, maybe Sehun won’t be as happy now. 

But in the middle of card games and billiards, napag-isipan nilang lahat na maligo sa pool. Well some are just on the pool side, tapos ang iba nasa kiddy pool. 

He eyes Junmyeon, talking to one of Sehun’s older cousins. Nakaupo sila sa benches near the pool, both holding a bottle of beer. Jongdae and Sehun had their own world sa isang tabi, and Chanyeol and Jongin were playing with the crowd na kasama kanina.

So hindi alam ni Baekhyun why the fuck is he stuck with Yukhei.

Hindi rin naligo si Baekhyun, he just had his feet on the pool katabi si Lucas. They weren’t talking but it was comfortable. Pareho silang umiinom ng beer. Baekhyun’s only on his 3rd one, si Lucas? Hindi niya alam. 

Lucas went near him and whispered, “Baekhyun pakiramdam ko gusto ako ihulog sa pool ng boyfriend mo.”

Baekhyun pinched his sides, “Boyfriend ka d’yan, OA ka.”

The other boy laughed at him, “Asus, gusto mo rin naman.” Lucas nudged him, “barbeque?”

Baekhyun smiled and said, “Sure.”

The two of them found themselves sa parking nakaupo, both with plates na hawak. 

“You look happy.” Lucas said genuinely. 

Baekhyun grinned as he stared at the sky, “That I am.” his happiness was then replaced by a hint of guilt, “Lucas I’m sorry.”

The boy looked at him and smiled, “Don’t be. Napag-usapan na natin ‘to diba?” Lucas brushed his shoulders against Baekhyun’s, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m even surprised myself na I’m holding this well. Akala ko, mas sasakit pa. I mean, I liked you for months, pero siguro we’re really better off as friends.”

To say na Baekhyun is relieved is an understatement. He badly wants to cry kasi sobrang saya sa narinig, but he held his tears, ayaw niyang umiyak ulit ngayon. Nilapag ni Baekhyun ang platong hawak sa sahig at hinawakan ang free hand ni Lucas, “You know you’re special for me right?”

Lucas masked a cocky grin, “Alam ko, special ako,” he laughed at the face Baekhyun made. “Pero, yes, I get you. Special friend? Kidding. Pero totoo naman, I get you. I’m lucky to have you, para akong may kuya pero mas bata umasta. Aray-“ Lucas winced at Baekhyun’s hit, “whatever happened to us, wala ‘yon. You are one of my best friends, more so, a brother to me.”

Baekhyun pinched Lucas as he smiled, “God kelan ka pa nagmature na ganyan? But, I’m here for you, okay?”

“Same here Baek, and besides, I found a new set of friends din. But, I’m not here to talk about that,” Lucas sighed, “Anong plano mo?”

Baekhyun squinted his eyes before smiling widely, “I’m gonna tell him tomorrow.”

Nanlaki lalo ang malaking mat ani Lucas, “Gago totoo?” he sounded so happy and excited.

“Yup,” he says, “alam din nina Sehun ang plano. We’re going to her tomorrow.”

Biglang hinawakan ni Lucas ang mga balikat ni Baekhyun, “Holy Shit, Baek,” he pulled the older into a hug “I’m so proud of you.”

Baekhyun returned the hug, “Thank you, really.”

Lucas let go of the hug, ngayon may nakakalokong ngiti, “Someone’s watching us. I think it’s time for me to go.”

Baekhyun looked at where Lucas was looking at and he saw Chanyeol standing in the dark, “Enjoy the night Yukhei.”

The boy winked at him, “I am.”

*

Hindi na hinintay ni Baekhyun na lumapit si Chanyeol, siya na mismo ang naglakad papunta sa binata. “Wow, you bathed na?” he says as he saw na iba na ang soot ni Chanyeol at iba na rin ang amoy- a scent very familiar to him.

“Yes, tinatamad na rin ako magswimming. I’m dead tired.” Napansin ni Baekhyun ang pagkapaos sa boses ni Chanyeol- an indication na he is indeed, tired. Baekhyun craned his neck somewhere at hinila ang lalaki. Pumasok sila sa maliit na kubo, covered with cute lights, na nasa bandang tabi ng private area. Naupo agad si Chanyeol at sumandal sa inuupuan. Baekhyun laughed at the way Chanyeol groaned in pain. Ilang oras nga din naman siyang nagdrive, and it’s almost 3 AM, kanina pa itong naglalangoy. So Baekhyun went to Chanyeol, “Move ka onti.”

Baekhyun sat beside Chanyeol but he pushed the latter to face sideways. “Dali na,” he says tapos he placed his hands on Chanyeol’s nape, applying a bit of pressure. He knows how much Chanyeol wanted his massages. Palagi rin kasing stressed ang ex (?) noon, and he would gladly do this to well, destress him. He felt Chanyeol loosen up after his third squeeze. “Grabe Philip, how stressed are you these days?”

Chanyeol hummed then he groaned when Baekhyun hit a sore spot, nakarinig siya ng mahinang ‘sorry’ from Baekhyun, “I’m just tired. From finals, tapos ang daming plates na ginawa. And fuck, wrong move talaga pumayag na magswimming with Ni, napakakulit.”

Baekhyun pushed a little harder, “Ayan kasi, patol pa.” He thoroughly massaged the parts he knew needed attention. Chanyeol’s nods and groans are signs na he is indeed getting relaxed.

“Philip, let’s go somewhere tomorrow.” He says, massage getting softer.

Nilingon naman siya ni Chanyeol, “Hm, where to?”

Nakita ni Chanyeol how Baekhyun bit his lips, a sign na he is hesitating. He held Baekhyun’s hands na nasa balikat niya, “Baekhyun, it’s okay. Where do you wanna go?”

“Batangas.”

“As in, Batangas province?” Chanyeol asked na tinanguan naman ni Baekhyun, “So sudden?”

“Ah, I want you to meet someone,” Baekhyun said queitly, “Si H-hyuna my s-“

Chanyeol smiled at him, “Si Ninay! Sa Batangas siya ngayon, I missed talking to her!” he says enthusiastically. “Maliit pa rin ba?”

Baekhyun smiled at him, “Walang pinagbago.” He then continued massaging Chanyeol, making him face the opposite direction, but then Chanyeol held his hand and brought it to his lips and kissed the back of it, “Thank you for this Baek.”

*

“Hoy, mag-iingat kayo.” Jongdae told them, “Baek, makipagpalit ka kay Chan if you’re tired.”

Baekhyun laughed, “Yes po.” He turned to Sehun, “Happy birthday baby boy, enjoy mo gift mo ha.”

Sehun immediately hugged him, “Thank you Baek, sobra” he sighed and whispered, “proud ako sayo.”

Baekhyun smiled at him, “Thank you Se.” he craned his neck sa bahay na tinulugan nila kahapon, “Pasabi na lang kayna Myeon, Nini, at Lucas. Tulog pa ba sila?”

Jongdae laughed, “Yup. Lasing na lasing.”

Sehun rolled his eyes, “May atraso pa sakin si Yukhei, but that’s another story for next time.” He patted Chanyeol’s back, “Ingat kayo.”

*

Nagising si Chanyeol, 8 AM na. Nasa byahe pa rin sila. He saw Baekhyun, eyes focused on the road. Ngayon niya lang nakitang nagdadrive ang binata. He stayed silent, not wanting to disturb Baekhyun.

But then, isang shift niya lang ng upo, napansin agad ni Baekhyun. “Gutom ka na?” he asked, “daan tayo McDo, crave ako fries.” sabi ni Baekhyun.

Chanyeol wiped his eyes, “Palit tayo later? Ako na drive, just tell me the directions. I’m well rested na.”

Baekhyun glared at him, “Ayaw. Enjoy pa ako magdrive,” he laughed, “Tsaka, rest ka muna. Ikaw na lang pauwi, okay?”

As agreed upon, dumaan nga muna sila ng McDo. Both are eating as they’re talking. Kung anu-ano na ang pinag-usapan. It’s as if they’re catching up with each other for the missed years. Chanyeol could not stop himself from making jokes, at si Baekhyun naman tawa lang nang tawa.

They’re in their own little world. Chanyeol has to admit, he missed this. Hindi niya akalain na they could possibly go back to whatever they had before. After their breakup, Chanyeol thought that he won’t be able to be close to Baekhyun anymore. And seeing Baekhyun smiling and driving beside him is nothing but a dream come true.

Napakunot si Chanyeol when he noticed where they were going. Hindi naman beach person si Baekhyun, once lang ata sila nagdagat before. And he was expecting na sa bahay nila sa city ang punta (based sa kwento ni Baekhyun) but he was wrong.

Baekhyun entered a property tapos he parked the car malapit sa puno. “Tara?” he says with a smile.

They were welcomed by an old woman, siguro on here 60s na. Baekhyun leaped towards her and gave her a hug, “Nana, namiss kita.”

Tumawa ang matanda, “Andito ka lang last month Buboy,” tumingin ang matanda kay Chanyeol, “hmm, sino kasama mo ‘nak?”

Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol, “Na, si Chanyeol, kaibigan ko. Chanyeol si Nana, lola ko.”

“Chanyeol? Lagi kang kwento sa amin ni Buboy.”

Kinabahan si Chanyeol. It’s the first time na may relative si Baekhyun na nakita at nakausap niya harap-harapan. Noong graduation naman kasi nila, Baekhyun did not attend dahil they went on a trip to the States. Baekhyun isn’t vocal about his family too. Si Hyuna lang ang nakakausap ni Chanyeol ever. But he knows that the Byuns are known in Bicol.

“Good morning po,” Chanyeol says shyly. The woman smiled warmly, “Ano, pasok kayo.”

Baekhyun stopped his grandma, “Ah Nana, punta muna kami kay Hyuna.”

Chanyeol swore he saw how sad the woman’s eyes became. She then smiled softly to Baekhyun, hinawakan nito ang balikat ng binata, “Of course. Sige, balik kayo dito, kakain tayo ng merienda.”

“Salamat, Na.” inabot ni Baekhyun ang kamay kay Chanyeol, “Tara, you have to meet her na.”

Chanyeol was confused. Imbis na sa bahay sila dumerecho, they’re now sitting sa shore. Hindi naman niya agad kausapin si Baekhyun because he looked so peaceful. Nakapikit ito saglit. He has a clue on what’s happening, but he refuses to accept it.

Baekhyun held his hand, nakapikit pa rin. Chanyeol then felt a tight squeeze, he looked at Baekhyun at mulat na ito. Nakatingin ito sa dagat, “Philip meet Hyuna. She passed away, two years ago.”

*

“Love, kelan balik mo?” Chanyeol asked as he unstrapped his seatbelt, looking at Baekhyun.

“Balik din me sa isang araw, may flight din ako non.” Baekhyun squinted his eyes, “ubos pera ko sa tickets, love!” he laughed.

Chanyeol pulled him to a hug, “Mamimiss kita.”

Baekhyun kissed his boyfriend, “Ano ba, babalik din agad ako, promise.” He pinched his nose, “Behave ka while I’m away ha.”

“Of course. I’m waiting po, okay?”

*

**03/31**

Baekhyun chose to ride the plane pa-Bicol. Okay pa naman sa budget niya and pinapauwi rin siya ng parents niya. A rare occasion to occur.

Pagkababa ng tricycle, nasa tapat na agad siya ng bahay nila. December ang huli niyang uwi, and March na ngayon. Still, June pa nga dapat siya uuwi.

He opened the doors with his keys. The house is awfully quiet, lagi naman. But what he wasn’t expecting was his father waiting for him sa living room nila.

Baekhyun smiled and approached his father, “Pa, pinauwi—“ his words were cut by the sudden slap of his father.

“Totoo ba?” his voice sent shivers to Baekhyun.

“Pa—“ another slap.

“Wag mo akong matawag tawag na Papa, Baekhyun Uriel.” his father looked down on him. Biglang nagdilim ang paningin ni Baekhyun. He then felt tears in his eyes. Hindi rin siya makahinga nang ayos. Then he felt something around his neck, tightening.

“Hindi kita pinalaking bakla Baekhyun,” his father says in gritted teeth, “hinayaan ka namin sa Maynila para mag-aral, pero anong ginagawa mo?”

Baekhyun seriously cannot hear his father’s words coherently. Nakahinga lang siya when his father let go of him. But then he felt a kick on his leg kaya he fell to the floor. His father held both his cheeks, “Umayos ka Baekhyun Uriel. Hindi kita paalisin dito hanggang di ka bumabalik sa normal.”

“W-wala n-naman pong mali sakin,” Baekhyun says running out of breath. Hawak niya ang leeg na kanina’y sinasakal ng sariling ama.

He received another kick, “Walang kwenta, ayusin mo ‘yang sarili mo. Ayoko sa anak ng walang silbi.”

His father sat to level him, he slapped Baekhyun’s cheek again, “You are a disgrace to this family.”

*

Baekhyun’s body is aching. Bago pa man sya makarating sa kwarto niya, ilang sampal at suntok pa ang iginawad sakanya. So, this was the reason why his father badly wanted him to go home. Gustong gusto man niya matulog, hindi siya hayaan ng katawan niya. Masyadong masakit, physically and emotionally.

He heard his door open and he saw a small figure enter his room.

“K-kuya.”

Baekhyun smiled at his sister. “Hyuna, Kuya’s home.”

Tumakbo si Hyuna papunta sa kama ng kuya niya at bigla itong niyakap. Hyuna is already in her 3rd year in High School, pero sobrang attached pa rin nito sa kuya niya. She also knows about Chanyeol, kapag nagvivideo call kasi sila, kasama ni Baekhyun ang binata. She fully accepts her brother, and she wouldn’t trade anyone for him.

Kaya knowing how bad their father treated him, she got so mad. Pero anong magagawa niya?

“I’m sorry kuya, wala ako kanina,” she says, sobbing, “you don’t deserve this.”

Baekhyun hugged his sister kahit masakit sa katawan, “Hush na, Ninay, wala kang kasalanan, okay? Kaya ni kuya ‘to.”

But Hyuna won’t stop crying, “P-paano ka? Si Kuya Philip? Paano kayo?”

Baekhyun laughed softly, patting his sister’s back, “Walang mangyayari okay? Babalik si kuya kay Chanyeol, wag ka na umiyak.”

*

Hyuna is asleep beside him. Pero hindi pa rin makatulog si Baekhyun. Rinig niya ang cellphone and he knows it’s his friends. Hindi pa niya kayang buksan ang mga ito. He’d just tell them na nakatulog siya buong araw. Besides, he’s gonna come back soon.

Napaisip siya kung anong kahihinatnan ng relasyon nila ni Chanyeol. He sure won’t end it. He can’t. Not now, not ever. At sa kaiisip sa kung anong mangyayari, he felt his lids closing.

*

**04/01**

Hapon nan ang nagising si Baekhyun. He’s very hungry. His body is in pain.

He then received a message from his mother saying na her trip to Thailand was extended. Well what would you expect if your parents are too busy with their own agendas. Mayaman ang pamilya ng in ani Baekhyun. Barbara Fontarum Byun is an heiress to lots and lots of land sa Bicol while Herbert Byun is well known for his construction firm. The Byuns are known in Bicol. Isa ‘to sa mga rason bakit mas ginusto ni Baekhyun na sa Maynila mag-aral. He wanted to start anew.

He stared at the ceiling but then his door opened widely, his father’s large frame occupying it. “Tumayo ka d’yan.” Baekhyun, who is struggling, tried to rise and walk out of the bed. Kaso his body betrayed him. Sobrang sakit ng braso at paa niya. He knows that his father can see him struggling. Akala niya hahayaan siya, but then he felt a grip on his shoulder. Hinila siya papunta sa dining room. Buti na lang, sa first floor ang kwarto niya. 

The dining room is very quiet. Wala rin ang mga kasambahay nina Baekhyun sa bahay. It was just 5 PM pero here they are, eating dinner.

“Ayokong nandito si Hyuna kapag nag-usap tayo,” his father looked at him with a straight face. “Pati kapatid mo, napaikot mo.”

“Pa, wala akong pinapaikot dito, Hyuna decides for herself,” Baekhyun said, a little bit agitated, “hindi naman niya kasalanang naiintindihan niya ako.”

There was a thud that followed. Kitang kita ang pamumula at ang ugat mula sa nanggagalaiting ama ni Baekhyun, “Manahimik ka. What you are, your sexuality is wrong. I can never accept that.” 

“But this is who I am Pa,” Baekhyun tried to reason out, almost crying. “Paano ba naging mali—“

“Break up with your boyfriend. Hiwalayan mo ang Park na ‘yon.”

Baekhyun’s stomach felt hollow. He was hurt. Ibang lebel ng sakit ang naramdaman niya, “Bakit Pa? Ano bang mali? Why are you doing this to me?” he says, voice breaking. “Ako pa rin si Biboy, anak mo. ‘Yung pinalaki mo. ‘Yung inalagaan mo. What difference does my sexuality make?”

Baekhyun felt as if he was stabbed when his father looked at him in the eye, “What’s wrong is that you would ruin our reputation. I worked hard for where I am right now Baekhyun, wala kang karapatang dungisan ang pangalan ko. Ako ang nagpaaral sayo, lahat ng luho mo, sinasagot ko,” his father says with a dark face, “tapos lahat sisirain mo dahil lang bakla ka? You even had a boyfriend for fuck’s sake! Ano bang inaatupag mo sa Maynila? Kalandian mo ang pinapairal mo!”

Nananakit na ang mga palad ni Baekhyun dahil sa higpit ng pagkakakuyom ng kamao nya. He knows he is crying, but he felt numb. “Pa, you’re really willing to throw away our relationship because you can’t accept me?”

His father didn’t even flinch at Baekhyun’s hurt voice, “Break up with your boyfriend or I’ll disown you. Break up with him or I will ruin your life. Break up with him or I’ll ruin his. Chanyeol Philip Park, Interior Design?” his father masked out a dark smirk, “Panoodin mo kung paano ko paguguhuin ang buhay ng hayop na ‘yon kung hindi mo ko susundin.”

*

**04/03**

Hindi alam ni Baekhyun kung anong nangyayari. Everyday, he would feel numb. A certain scene replaying on his mind. His father standing on his back while he was typing on his phone. Messages for Chanyeol. A very vague breakup message to be exact. Then he would hear his phone breaking. His father threw away his phone. A gift from him for his 17th birthday— now a broken screen and discarded parts. 

He remember his words to his beloved, 

I can’t do this anymore. I’m breaking up with you.

And ever since that night, he cries himself to sleep.

*

**04/05**

Hindi pa rin umuuwi ang nanay ni Baekhyun. Something about a China investment. He doesn’t care, really. Kasalukuyan siyang nakaupo, reading a random book from his shelf. He felt more alone than ever. Kahit si Hyuna, hindi pinapapasok sa kwarto niya. The last time they talked, Baekhyun begged Hyuna not to talk to Chanyeol. Alam niyang may tendency si Hyuna na magsalita, but she needs to not to. He knows his father is dangerous, at baka pati si Hyuna madamay. He just asked Hyuna to message Jongdae that he would be back after Holy Week.

One of their helpers entered his room, it was time for his lunch. And during his four day stay sa bahay, he only ate lunch, nothing else.

He hated when their helpers looked at him with pity. He knows how his father ordered them not to talk to him. Nasasanay na siyang mag-isa. 

(But every time the stars shine so brightly, he cries, hoping, somehow, maybe in another universe, Chanyeol and him are together)

*****

**04/08**

Baekhyun woke up earlier. He hated waking up early. He was filled with void and emptiness. Sa ilang araw na namalagi siya sa bahay nila, he never did anything. 

Minsan, pumapasok ng kwarto niya si Herbert Byun to check on him, pero nauuwi lang ito sa sagutan. Katulad kahapon, Baekhyun earned another set of bruises and blood stains. 

Manhid na ang katawan ni Baekhyun— suntok, sipa, sampal. Yesterday though, his father gripped his hair and submerged his head to his own tub. 

Konting tiis lang Uriel, konting sakit lang, magiging normal ka na ulit.

That was his father’s words before letting him go, choking on water and breathless. That night, Baekhyun was so mad at himself. He was so mad he became like this. He blamed himself for being gay and in love with the same sex.

But he snapped out of it when an image of Chanyeol flashed before his eyes. He misses Chanyeol, so much. 

He loves him so much he was willing to let him go.

[he loves him too much it was okay to hurt alone]

Sinubukan niyang lumakad, pilit binabalewala ang masakit na katawan. He was successful opening his bedroom door. 

Then everything went black.

04/10

Nagising si Baekhyun sa mainit na liwanag. He also heard muffled sounds. The room he is in smells funny. Sinubukan niyang buksan ang mata and he saw how bright it was. He knows he is in the hospital.

He craned his neck and then he felt something warm on his cheeks.

“Anak, you’re finally awake.” his mother reached for his hand and kissed it gently. Baekhyun felt warm. Ngayon na lang ata uli niya naramdaman ang ganito. Hyuna was on his other side, crying, biting her nails. “Anak I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

Baekhyun smiled weakly, “Ma, it’s okay,” he moved for a bit pero sumakit lang ang katawan niya, “okay na ako na nandito ka.”

His mother hugged him softly, whispering sorrys and i love yous. He felt warm, but still there’s a void inside him.

*

**04/11**

Apparently, fatigue, stress, lack of nutrients and dehydration ang rason kung bakit sya naospital. His mother was the one who found him. Kakarating lang nito from China and she was horrified with what she saw. 

Ngayon, si Hyuna na lang ang kasama niya sa kwarto sa ospital. “Nag-aaway nanaman sila,” she weakly said, “galit na galit si mama.”

Baekhyun looked at her softly, “Ninay sorry ah, this all happened because of kuya.”

Hyuna immediately frowned and tears started falling from her eyes, “No kuya. Wala kang kasalanan dito. It’s papa’s fault. He is stupid and evil, how coulf a father do that to you?” she sniffed, “I’m sorry, wala akong magawa.”

Baekhyun got up and wiped his sister’s tears, “Tahan ka na. Ayaw ni Kuya na umiiyak ka dahil sakin. Ang pangit mo pa naman pag umiiyak.”

To that, Hyuna laughed, “Nakakainis naman. You always make me laugh and happy, please Kuya, wag mo akong iiwan.”

Baekhyun warmly smiled at her, “Never.”

*

**04/12**

Nagising si Baekhyun na magaan ang pakiramdam. His body was fine and his wounds are healing. He felt happy for a bit. Until his door revealed his father.

Walang paligoy-ligoy, nagsalita ito. “Masaya ka na ba?” he says with a clenched jaw, “You are ruining your family Baekhyun. All of this happened because of your stupidity.”

Baekhyun wanted to say something, but he couldn't. Hindu katulad ng mga nakaraang araw na nasasagot niya ang tatay niya. He was too tired defending himself. Alam niyang pasok sa isa, labas sa kabilang tenga ang nangyayari when he talks with his father. But it isn’t just because of that. It pained him to hear how his father’s blaming him for everything. And somehow, pakiramdam niya, kasalanan niya nga— that maybe if he didn’t become gay none of this would happen. If he just met his father’s standards, wala namang problema. He hated himself more.

Without giving Baekhyun a chance to speak, his father spoke again, “Do yourself a favor and live your life in Manila as you please. Alam kong gustong gusto mo don, but of course you can’t play with that Chanyeol kid anymore,” his father neared him and Baekhyun flinched, natatakot siyang pagbuhatan nanaman ng kamay, “I’ll be watching you Uriel. Don’t disappoint me this time.”

Hindi siya sinakal, pero ramdam ni Baekhyun na inagawan siya ng hininga. He knew how ruthless his father could be— siya mismo ang testamento doon. Pakiramdam niya, pinagsama sama lahat ng pananakit ng ama niya at inatake siya for once. He was so tired. The moment his father left the room he broke down into tears. He was mad. Mad at himself for being who he is. But madder at his father who chose to make his son’s life miserable.

He knew that if he stayed in Bicol, his life would be a living hell. Tatanggapin niya na lang ang Maynila, even if he can’t be with Chanyeol for a while. At least, somehow, he could be near him.

The moment his mother came back with Hyuna, he hugged her tightly. Alam niyang it would take too much time before he experiences this again. He hasn’t stopped crying, “Ma, ayoko na dito please. Babalik na akong Manila.”

*

**Ninay**

Kuya!!!!!

Nasan ka na?

**Baekhyun**

Hello Ninay.

Kakababa ko lang ng plane :)

**Ninay**

I miss you :(

Balik ka agad please

Ayoko na dito sa bahay

Hindi nag-uusap sina mama at papa

Ayoko rin kausapin si papa

**Baekhyun**

Shh. Forgive mo si Papa, okay?

Tagal pa ko makakabalik jan :p

**Ninay**

:(

*

**Ninay**

Tapos na ko PETAs ko!!

Musta ka naman jan

**Baekhyun**

puyat. pagod.

**Ninay**

pahinga kuya :((

sinusundan ka pa rin ba?

**Baekhyun**

oo ata? hahaha

di ako makalabas kasama ni dae :( natatakot ako

**Ninay**

sabihin mo na kasi kay kuya dae. maiintindihan naman non!! 

**Baekhyun**

soon :)

sleep na :p

*

**Baekhyun**

ok na kami ni myeon :D

musta ang favorite kapatid ko?

**Ninay**

AKO LANG NAMAN KAPATID MO

grr

PERO AAAAAH IM HAPPY FOR U :(

**Baekhyun**

vc?

**Ninay**

OK I’LL CALL!!!!

**Ninay**

good night kuya

miss ka na ni ninay

loveu :)

*

**Ninay**

putangina

nag-aaway nanaman sila nakakapagod

TANGINA

napakatoxic puta?? 

bakit ba hindi pa iwan ni mama tong lalaking to

miss na kita.

Ninay

sorry sa mura kuya

pagod na ako dito sa bahay

palagi na lang ganito lol

wish u were here. ikaw lang kakampi ko.

love kita. wag magpakapagod!!

sleep na!!

**Baekhyun**

shit ninay anong nangyari

sorry fuck patay phone ko i was studying :(

tawag ako sayo tomorrow ok?

andito si kuya. message ka lang.

*

**Ninay**

:((((((((((((((

**Baekhyun**

why po. class me.

**Ninay**

:-((((((((((((((((((((((((((

thank you sa cupcake :((((((

naiiyak ako bakit ganon

miss na kita tanga ka

KAINIS BAKIT MAY PAGANITO

**Baekhyun**

HAHAHAHA ang ingay mo

enjoy. deserve mo yan. vc later :)

*

**Ninay**

ur probably asleep

dw tulog na ko

dis my subconscious speaking lol

but i dreamt of u and kuya philip

god i miss you both

i miss seeing you happy 

i miss seeing you smile

god i miss you kuya sobra

andito ako for you, palagi ok!!

i love you.

**Baekhyun**

:)

love you too

*

**Baekhyun**

tangina

fuck them

FUCK THEM

sobrang nakakagalit puta

i cant even hangout with my friends puta

muntik na sundan nung isang guard si nini

putangina naman

WHY CANT I BREATHE

hindi porket bakla ako i would fucking want every man i hangout with punyeta

**Ninay**

kuya what happened

**Baekhyun**

tangina ng mga tauhan ni papa

napainom ako kayna nini

kasi nga nagkaayos kami

puta balak bantayan. tangina naman

i cant even have friends? what the fuck

**Ninay**

WHAT THE FUCK KUYA?

san ka ngayon? anong ginawa mo?

please be ok

**Baekhyun**

kinausap ko lang.

sinabihan ko, fuck buti nakinig tangina talaga

**Ninay**

kalma kuya, okay?

punta kami ni mama sa batangas next week

**Baekhyun**

ha?

walang nababanggit si mama

**Ninay**

bibisita kami kena Nana

ayaw ni papa ipasabi kay mama

**Baekhyun**

putangina haha ano ba gusto nya

**Ninay**

we’ll meet, okay?

love you. pahinga ka na.

*

**Ninay**

akosjswo nana allowed me to have one of their drivers papunta jan SIKE

**Baekhyun**

gago ka?

**Ninay**

DONT U MISS ME

papunta ko jan bukas

**Baekhyun**

stop pranking

**Ninay**

*sends pic*

**Baekhyun**

U DYED YOUR HAIR?

**Ninay**

:p

see you tomorrow kuya.

good night!! :))

*

**Ninay**

gOOD MORNING

i am: packing some things

i am: excited

i cant wait: to see you

**Ninay**

we r on our way na!!

GISING NA!!!!!!!!!

**Baekhyun**

holy shit kakagising ko lang

**Ninay**

as expected

**Baekhyun**

totoo ba?? papunta ka nga?

**Ninay**

oo nga!!!!

ask Nana pa!! ask mama!!

hindi sila makakasama kasi check up ni nana today

**Baekhyun**

ok ok

ingat kayo!

idlip pa ako ha, puyat me kagabi :((

magfafinals na :-((

**Ninay**

oki

god i really can’t wait to see you

i miss you and ily

:p cheesy libre moko l8r

**Baekhyun**

jwu

san ka na

**Baekhyun**

hoy

Hannah Riona

psst

**Baekhyun**

hindi naman traffic ngayon ah

san ka na!!

order ako lunch ano want mo

**Baekhyun**

IM CALLING U

y arent u picking up

cannot be reached

**Baekhyun**

ay nako ka hanna riona kapag ito joke time

sinasabi ko sayo

i ordered ur fave >:(

**Baekhyun**

im so mad at u right now

wag mo ko kausapin

**Baekhyun**

Hyuna?

im not mad

pls reply to me

**Baekhyun**

hyuna this is not a good joke

tinatawagan ko si mama pero busy phone

fuck nasan ka ba

**Baekhyun**

hyuna it’s been 7 hours

answer me

*

**Mama**

wala na si hyuna.

——

It was a car accident. An overspeeding truck hit them. 

It was Baekhyun’s fault. Kung hindi niya lang hinayaan ba umalis si Hyuna that day, hindi sana mangyayari to. 

[maybe if he wasn’t weak enough, hindi kakailanganin ni hyuna na umalis in the first place]

“Anak, magpahinga ka na,” Baekhyun heard his grandma says. “Matulog ka muna.”

Baekhyun smiled weakly, “Yes Na, I will.” That’s a lie, of course. Last day ng burol ni Hyuna. Sa Batangas ginanap, it was private. Of course, hindi kaya idisclose sa public ang nangyari. It was hard for everyone to accept. 

Baekhyun hasn’t heard anything from his mother. Mula nang dumating siya sa Batangas, hindi ito umiimik sakanya. His father was a different case. Pagkadating na pagkadating nito sa Batangas mula Bicol, he laid hands on him. But Baekhyun was numb. Nothing could hurt more than what he’s already feeling.

Ayos lang suntukin. He knows he deserves it. Because it’s true. This is his fault. 

But there’s a lump on Baekhyun’s throat whenever he catches his mother’s eyes lingering on him. Nakakabingi ang katahimikan na bumabalot sa kanila. 

It hurts so much to see the anger from his mother's eyes— _eyes resembling that of Hyuna’s_.

*

The ceremony just ended. Now they’re all back to Baekhyun’s grandmother’s house in Batangas. Baekhyun’s holding a jar, one that contains the ashes of his sister. 

He placed it sa room he was staying at. Babalik na sana siya ng living room when his mother suddenly entered his room.

Natatakot si Baekhyun sa kung anong mangyayari, because he knows. He fucking knows where this would all go.

“Biboy, bata pa lang si Hyuna. For God’s sake, she’s just 16, sobrang bata pa niya para mawala,” his mother’s voice broke as she spoke, “Baekhyun sixteen. Marami pang pangarap si Ninay, she doesn’t deserve this.”

Hindi nagsasalita si Baekhyun, hindi niya alam ang sasabihin. He’s too hurt to speak up.

His mother looked at him with tired eyes “Baekhyun why? Why did you have to risk your sister’s life like that?”

His mouth opened, finding the right words to say, “M-ma, hindi ko naman ginusto ang nangyari. Hindi ko naman alam na magkakaganon.” 

She shut her eyes closed as tears fell from her eyes, “Hindi ko maintindihan, bakit si Hyuna pa? She didn’t do anything wrong. She’s the purest person I know why—“

A tear fell from his eye, “Sino dapat Ma? Ako ba? Ako na lang dapat ang nawala?”

His mom's eyes widened, “I’m not saying that! Baekhyun Uriel ano ka ba?”

Baekhyun’s tired, sobra. He feels like his body’s giving up on him, “Ano ma? Anong gusto mong sabihin? Bakit mo ko tinitingnan na may galit sa mata?” he tried to sound as stable, “B-bakit hindi mo ako malapitan when I was also breaking?”

She couldn’t speak. Tila naestatwa ito sa kinatatayuan. 

Baekhyun smiled, but it wasn’t a happy one. Not even sarcastic. It was blank and tired, “S-sinisisi mo ba ako?” pumiyok ang boses niya sa tanong. He got his answer when his own mother broke down in front of him. 

“M-ma hindi ko ginusto ‘yung nangyari—“

Without looking at him, she says, “Bakit ka ba dumepende kay Hyuna, Baek? Ikaw ang panganay! You should’ve known how to handle things better. Whatever you had with your father, it is your problem, not hers! Hindi ko alam bakit siya nadamay. Hindi ko alam why she felt so responsible for you. And what did it cost her?” his mom’s cry grew louder, “maybe if you weren’t like that, she would still be alive.”

Baekhyun only saw black after what he’ve heard. He felt his breath shortening. Napaupo siya sa kama at napakuyom ang kamay sa kobre kama. This must be a joke. A bad dream. He wanted to wake up, so he opened his eyes. He was disappointed when he saw the familiar room, when he heard his mother’s weeps because he realized it’s real. He knows he’s at fault. 

“Ma, tama na.” he says silently. 

His mother saw him with eyes bloodshot. “A-anak, I didn’t mean it what way.”

Baekhyun smiled humorlessly, “Hindi m-ma, I get it. I totally do.” He inhaled sharply, as if just breathing even hurts him. “I get it because honestly, I blame myself too.

Tama ka naman Ma. Siguro nga if I weren’t gay, this wouldn’t happen. We could go back to being the picture perfect family of Bicol. Siguro proud sakin si Papa. And yes, you’re right, buhay pa sana si Hyuna ngayon. Sorry Ma.”

“Baekhyun, d-don’t be.”

“Hindi Ma, I am sorry. Sorry kasi ganito ako and because of me Hyuna was gone. Kaso Mama wala e, ganito ako. Hindi mo alam kung ilang beses ko sanang hiniling na I was normal. Every day I ask myself why I have to be like this. Ma, I tried. Tried to be normal. Tried to fit your standards, b-but you know why I stopped?” Baekhyun smiled softly, “Because Hyuna told me not to hide. Kasi sabi niya, there’s nothing wrong with me.” he looked up, trying to stop the tears already falling, “That she loves me for whatever type of person I am because I’m still Baekhyun, her brother.”

Rinig ni Baekhyun ang malakas na hagulhol ng nanay niya but that didn’t stopped him. “She was the only one I had Ma. N-nung umuwi ako satin, nung binubugbog ako ni papa, nung naospital ako. She was there not out of obligation but because she wanted to.”

“W-when I went back to Manila, nung sinusundan ako ng guards ni papa, she was the one who was there for me. Siya ‘yung nangangamusta, siya lang ‘yung nag-aalala.” Baekhyun choked on his words, “T-tama ka naman ma, mahina ako. Dumepende talaga ako kay Hyuna, b-but anong magagawa ko when she’s all that I have.”

“For the past days ma, s-sakit na sakit ako. W-when she died I felt like I lost half of me. She was my rock and everything fell down. Ma, siguro nga ako ang rason kung bakit siya nawala but that doesn’t mean hindi ako nasaktan. Gustong gusto ko lumapit sayo because I needed someone. I needed my mother. I also lost her Ma. I lost my sister. I lost someone who loved me for who I am.” Baekhyun didn’t hide the tears now, derecho siyang nakatingin sa nanay niya, “But of course you did not see my pain, kasi para sainyo I am the son who killed your daughter. Hindi niyo man lang ako tiningnan bilang anak na nawalan ng kapatid.”

Baekhyun bit his lip before continuing, “Ma ang sakit sakit na. Pagod na pagod na ako. I lost people who are dear to me, at sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung saan ako kakapit.”

His mother went to him and hugged him as she cried but Baekhyun sat motionless, “Anak I didn’t know you felt that way, I’m sorry. Walang nagawa si mama, I’m sorry Anak.” There was a follow of sorrys at wala nang maintindihan si Baekhyun. He just savored the moment na ramdam pa niya ang yakap ng ina, this time he felt the sincerity. “I was not a good mother to you. I was blinded by confusion. Tinanong ko ang sarili ko kung may mali ba sa pagpapalaki ko sayo. I didn’t accept na there really is nothing wrong with you, it was my pride and ego hurt. I’m s-sorry.”

He hugged back this time, “Ma, I forgive you. But don’t expect everything will be fine. H-hindi pa rin ako tanggap ni papa. A-and I want to forgive myself too.” Baekhyun breathed heavily, “M-mahal na mahal ko kayo ni Papa, but I am too hurt Ma.”

His mother wiped the tears on his face, “I’m sorry Baekhyun, you don’t deserve this.” his mother smiled weakly, “But please forgive yourself. W-wala kang kasalanan. I’m sorry anak.”

Baekhyun smiled weakly, “I have nothing against you, Ma. The moment I accepted myself is the moment I also accepted na I would lose some people. I just didn’t expect I’d lose those whom I loved the most.”

*

Hindi makaimik si Chanyeol. He was surprised. He was hurt, not for him but for Baekhyun. “W-why didn’t you tell me?”

Baekhyun looked at him, “I should’ve told you ‘no?” he smiled but it did not reach his eyes, “The day na bibisita siya sakin, kakausapin na sana kita. I was about to tell you about my father, but then the accident happened. I took it as a sign, na baka it wasn’t really the proper time to tell you.”

Baekhyun’s eyes travelled the sea in front of them, “On Hyuna’s 1st death anniversary, dinala ako ni Nana dito. They bought this place pala and she told me to let Hyuna rest here. We decided to have her on some parts of the sea, she always loved the water unlike me. She loved to explore. Sa aming dalawa siya ang mas adventurous, siya ang mas matapang. She was my savior.” Baekhyun turned to Chanyeol eyes sparkling from tears, “but I lost her at hanggang ngayon, sinisisi ko pa rin ang sarili ko. Chanyeol, she didn’t deserve to die because of me, hindi dapat siy—“

Naputol ang sasabihin ni Baekhyun when Chanyeol pulled him into a hug, “Stop Baek, sinabi mo na you would forgive yourself hindi ba?”

Baekhyun cried harder as Chanyeol caressed his back, “A-ang sakit sakit Philip. Ang hirap na wala si Hyuna, ang hirap na walang kakampi, na walang umiintindi.” he sobbed and he gripped on Chanyeol’s arm, “ang hirap patawarin ng sarili ko. Pakiramdam ko wala akong karapatang sumaya.”

“Baek, wag mo sabihin ‘yan. I am sure Hyuna wants nothing but your happiness. Ayaw niyang makita kang ganito.”

Baekhyun pulled from the hug and he looked at Chanyeol, “I’m sorry if I hurt you. E-everytime I see you, gustong gusto kita lapitan but then,” he sighed heavily, a voice crack evident, “but then I would see her. Images of her lying on her rest bed. A-and god knows how much it scarred me.”

Chanyeol wiped Baekhyun’s tears, “Baekhyun, don’t be too harsh on yourself. You’re never alone, andito sina Dae, andito ako,” he smiled softly and he kissed Baekhyun’s temple, “and I’m sure she has your back, always. She didn’t leave you.”

“Chanyeol, miss na miss ko na si Hyuna, sobra.”

“Let it out Baek, ilang taon mo ‘tong kinikimkim, I’m here for you, okay?”

Baekhyun looked at him, “You’re not mad at me?”

Chanyeol smiled “I… I have to admit I got mad at you. Baek iniwan mo ‘ko, walang pasabi and it sucked. B-but I understand everything now. I think if you told me before, I wouldn’t understand as much. But the years without you helped me with my growth as a person.”

Baekhyun squeezed his hand, “Hindi ko masabi sayo noon because I was scared. I knew you deserve an explanation, pero my father did not stop following me. A-and I know well na a part of you would blame yourself din, I know you Chan. M-masyado akong naapektuhan ng mga sinabi ni Mama— I depend too much on people at sa kagustuhan kong isolve ang mga bagay mag-isa, I did not notice how far I’ve pushed you away.” Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol, “It took me two years two message you. God I fucking changed both for the worse and better. I had a panic attack that day, it was her death anniversary and I didn’t know what happened to me I instinctively messaged you, and then fuck hindi ko alam but I knew I ruined things for you god I am such a mess.”

Chanyeol smiled at him dearly, “There are things I still don’t understand. Marami pa rin akong tanong,” he squeezed Baekhyun’s hands three times and then lifted it up to kiss the back of it, “but we’re different now. And I can tell that you became better, I hope I am too. I… I want to be with you Baek. It was always you, it would always be you. Alam kong the world was cruel to you, and you’re probably right. If you told me about your father, I would’ve acted on impulse and ruined us more. I can’t say we lost two years, kasi the time we were on a break opened tons of opportunities for the both of us. It’s sad that we had to grow apart, but we’re here now. No matter what the universe does to try and break you, you’re here. Alive and shining.”

Baekhyun cried silently as he listened to Chanyeol’s words. He knew he made the right decision to set himself free now. He looked at the sea as he held Chanyeol’s hands. “Thank you for coming back to me Philip.” he rested his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder, “Dinala kita dito because I want her to see me free. I want to ask her for forgiveness, for maybe disappointing her. I want her to see you forgive me,” Chanyeol’s heart swelled on Baekhyun’s words, “and most importantly, dinala kita dito para pareho kayo ni Hyuna na makakita na I’m finally forgiving myself. Thank you.”

“Palagi, Baek. Palagi.”

*

Chanyeol was with one of their helpers, tumutulong sa pag-iihaw. They both decided to stay the night with his Nana. Ang lola niya ang kumupkop sakanya after Hyuna’s death. Sa Batangas siya palagi umuuwi and every Christmas, he spends it sa Batangas. Sometimes, his mother would see him, but it’s a rare occassion.

Lumapit ang lola niya sakanya, holding a white box. 

“Biboy, you know how much your sister loves you right?” her grandma started, inabot nito ang box na hawak, “Iniwan niya ‘to the day she left. Sabi niya sakin, sure daw siyang uuwi siya with you that day. Ibibigay niya raw to as a gift for you for finally fixing things with someone.” 

Baekhyun looked at the box in front of him, it was thin and as long as a pencil. He heard his grandmother gasp, “Akala ko, papa mo or mama mo ang tinutukoy niya,” his grandmother held his shoulder and squeezed it, “Pero narealize ko na what she meant was yourself. All she ever wanted was for you to be happy Baek. Open it.”

Baekhyun opened the box and he saw a thin silver necklace in it. Nanginginig niyang inalis ito mula sa box, he noticed a silver pendant na circle. He looked at it closely and he broke down to the word engraved on it.

**_fearless_ **

He noticed a paper folded inside the box and he took it out. His tears did not stop falling as he noticed the very familiar handwriting.

**_set yourself free. i’m here for you, always._ **

**_-H_ **

Hyuna…

Baekhyun immediately hugged his grandmother, “Na, thank you. Thank you for this.”

Nana pulled from the hug and laughed as she wiped her tears with one hand and wiped Baekhyun’s tears with the other, “Apo, andito si Nana, okay? I am your family.”

*

Nakatambay silang dalawa sa balcony sa kwarto ni Baekhyun. Familiar scenario for them but instead of alcohol, they’re both holding hot chocolate drinks.

They’re sitting sa sofa na nasa balcony ni Baekhyun. Fluffy blankets on top of them. Baekhyun’s back resting on Chanyeol’s chest while the latter’s leg is sprawled on top of the other.

They’re talking about the most random stuff. Laughing at their stupidity before. They talked about the lightest topics tapos plans after graduation. But now they’re just quietly enjoying the comfort of one another. 

This is different from all the times they’ve been together after their breakup. Ngayon, mas nakakahinga sila, they now know, they really have each other back again.

Baekhyun’s yawn made Chanyeol smile, “Sleepy ka na?” Baekhyun cutely nodded. “Higa na tayo?” then Chanyeol saw how Baekhyun shook his head and pouted. 

“Kanta ka please?” he says sleepily, “sing me to sleep.”

Chanyeol grinned, “Some things never change?” he moved Baekhyun, “wait lang.” Tumayo si Chanyeol at pumasok sa kwarto. He was gone for a few seconds but he came back holding something. Baekhyun’s mouth opened when he saw what Chanyeol was carrying— it was the ukulele he gave him.

Chanyeol scooted over. He let Baekhyun rest his head on the top of his shoulder. “Hindi pa ata kita napapasalamatan nang ayos for this,” Chanyeol says with a deep voice, “and I think this would be the best way to.”

Chanyeol started strumming his ukulele and Baekhyun wrapped his arms on Chanyeol’s waist.

_You gave me a shoulder when I needed it_

_You showed the love when I wasn't feeling it_

Ngayon na lang niya ulit narinig kumanta si Chanyeol harap-harapan. It was way different from the twitter videos he watched. It felt so magical and unreal. It was a different kind of comfort, it was cold outside but Baekhyun felt warm.

_You helped me fight when I was giving in_

_You you made me laugh when I was losing it_

Hindi niya alam kung bakit but he started crying. He knows well na Chanyeol’s singing this for the both of them. The song hits him well. Dahil sa totoo lang, Baekhyun would never be able to free himself if it wasn’t for Chanyeol. Yes he had his friends, but he knew the past would always haunt him if he never made amends with the boy.

_'Cause you are, you are_

_The reason why I'm still hanging on_

_'Cause you are, you are_

_The reason why my head is still above water_

Kinuha ni Baekhyun ang ukulele sa binata at tinabi ito. He hugged Chanyeol tightly, and he heard the taller whisper, “Mahal kita Baekhyun, sobra.”

Hinawakan ni Baekhyun ang magkabilang pisngi ni Chanyeol at nilapit ang sarili. Pinikit niya ang mga mata at itinagilid nang bahagya ang ulo. He felt his lips on top of the other. Chanyeol held his waist and pulled Baekhyun on top of him. Binuksan ni Baekhyun ang bibig and Chanyeol took it as a cue to move more.

_And if I could i'd get you the moon I give it to you_

Baekhyun was straddling Chanyeol as he held the latter’s hair. Chanyeol’s hands roamed around him. Ngayon, it’s resting on his waist, gripping it tightly. Chanyeol felt his face getting wet and figured that it was Baekhyun’s tears— until he realized na he was crying too. 

They pulled from the kiss and both of them rested their forehead against each other. Hinila ni Chanyeol si Baekhyun na nasa ibabaw niya at niyakap nang mahigpit, he kissed his temple as he hugged him.

Baekhyun’s hands are on Chanyeol’s chest. His tears fell more as he felt Chanyeol kiss his temple. He pulled away from the hug. He brushed Chanyeol’s hair with his fingers, and once again held both of his cheeks. Baekhyun looked at him lovingly.

“Mahal na mahal din kita,” he says smiling, “I won’t leave this time.”

_And if I could I'd get you the moon_

_And give it to you_

_And if death was coming for you_

_I'd give my life for you_

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god. tapos na tong part na to?  
> this is not the end of the story!!  
> marami tong butas I KNOW please be kind to me im baby.  
> please comment ur reactions or qrt nyo CHZ
> 
> find me in twitter: @jungbhyun
> 
> last na.  
> to my angel in heaven, i love you.  
> i miss you always. please be happy. :)


End file.
